The Unusual Suspects
by Xavier Masters
Summary: Meg, feeling down about herself, makes a deal with the devil, how will this change things for the family?
1. Wolves From Hell

**Chapter 1: Chapter 1: wolves from hell!**

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><p><em><strong>Family guy: Wolves from hell!<strong>_

It was a normal day in the Griffin household, well as normal as it could be. Stewie and Brian were playing in the yard. Lois was making Peter a snack in the kitchen, Peter was sitting at the kitchen table banging his knife and fork on the table in a childish manner and Meg and Chris were watching TV. Chris was flicking his boogers at Meg to annoy her and was doing very well in that department.

"Chris will you stop being so immature!"

"But it's so much fun, you wouldn't want to deprive me of fun would you Meg?"

Just then the telephone rang and Meg rushed to answer it and escape the boogers, it was for Peter so she put the phone down and called her father. Peter came to answer it still annoyed that he hadn't had his snack and was surprised to hear the voice of his long lost cousin. Peter didn't realise it was his relation at first he thought it was someone trying to sell him something. Peter agreed to his cousins request and shot straight back to the kitchen table to wait for his snack.

He informed Lois his relatives were coming to stay for awhile but couldn't remember his cousins name and couldn't say for sure how many relatives would be coming to stay. Then two days later A blonde haired women, a brown haired man and a _white _haired _baby _came to the house, they were the relatives that were coming. They knocked on the front door and Lois answered.

"Well hello there my good woman, could you announce us, I am your masters cousin, I believe he is expecting me..." The man looked at Lois impatiently

"I think you have the wrong house, there are no slaves in _this _house!" Lois exclaimed

Peter came to the door to see what the fuss was. He invited the family inside and tried to introduce them to his family. They walked in behind Peter, they found his discomfort amusing and refused to help Peter out when he said...

"Kids this is my cousin... uh umm" He stumbled at his family

the family was in the living room eyeing the new arrivals suspiciously. Lois spoke to both babies in a baby voice and said they should play in the back yard, both babies said something along the lines of "Don't talk to me like that!"

But they both went outside to the backyard. So... the man and woman and the rest of the Griffin family talked, everyone, but Peter noticed that these long lost relatives were very weird, extremely weird (weird was the only way to describe them – just plain weird!).

For one they had the strangest coloured eyes unlike everyone else in the Griffin family. They also looked like they all had not brushed their long raggedy hair for at least a decade. But the weirdest thing was the sharp teeth, like they didn't eat anything but meat.

Anyway the new family and the Griffins got on very well once they had freshened up after their journey. They had arrived just in time for full moon, this was an experience they wanted to share with their Quahog cousins, it was to be a surprise...possibly a surprise they wouldn't forget in a hurry.

As the regular Griffin family sat down for dinner that Lois had taken hours preparing the weirdo cousins announced they were going to take a little siesta as they wanted to be fresh for the evenings entertainment. Lois was most annoyed, having her hospitality thrown back in her face would do that to Lois for some strange reason. Lois just couldn't swallow being disrespected in her own kitchen it was just outrageous especially after she had gone to all that trouble. Lois didn't say a word to complain, she didn't have to, her face said it all! Everyone around the table ate in silence as quickly as possible. You could cut the atmosphere with a knife and Lois was in a mood to cut something! After wolfing down dinner in record time all the Griffin children sidled out of the kitchen and tried to find somewhere less likely to be a war zone or the scene of multiple homicides. Lois was trying to calm herself down when she heard someone shout her name. She rushed in to the Living-room, then she screamed. Standing in the Living-room, were three human like creature with fur all over their bodes. The one on the left looked like the man of the group. He was taller then Peter, and had claws. His fur was brown, and his eyes shined gold, he had two dog like eyes. The one who looked like the female of the group was just a little taller then Lois, this one's fur was blonde, other then that it was the same as the other one. And then the one who was most likely the baby of the group was white, this one was the same hight as Stewie. This one's eyes were a stunning purple. The baby of the group Spoke

"Hey"

then the Griffin's looked at the baby and then screamed in unison "What The Hell's Going On!" the man of the group took a big breath and then spoke...

"Well we, the three of us, are werewolves, and if you haven't got it yet, I'm Peter's cousin."

yet again they shouted in unison

"What!"

"Yeah" said the baby "Now I have a feeling, if we want to find the plot, we should go out side" everyone else calmed down and they all went outside and saw nothing, the baby werewolf looked at the sky, looking back at his short life. Then they heard a shot from a old styled pistol, they looked at the owner of the gun and saw a mid-aged man with greying hair who looked to be in good shape, wearing a hunter like outfit, and a cowboy hat, and a silver sword that glowed. Standing next to him was a baby, who looked the same as the man standing behind him, but his hair was black.

"Oh crap" Said all of the werewolf family with their eyes half open.

"What's going on?" Said Lois

"Say hello to Mr Hunts, and his son, Jamie" said the baby werewolf

"Ha!" laugh Peter "Jamie's a girls name!"

"Wait don't" shouted the man of the pack quickly

But to late, Jamie jump Peter with a hunting knives in hand then Jamie cut Peter's shirt and then Cut his chest , leaving a X shaped wound. Then Peter fell back and cried over his wounds. The women of the group walked to Peter and told him to eat this wolf shaped Cookie's after he didn't feel the pain, but the wound was still there.

"Why are you guys here?" Asked Lois in a calm voice even if she should be trying to kill then herself.

"We came to kill these Werewolves, Their evil! And from hell!"

Meg then looked at the pack of werewolves

"you guy's are from hell?"

the baby Wolf sighed

"Hey can you guy's give me a minute to tell them the story?"

"Sure" The old one said evilly for some reason.

"OK, this story starts in hell."

_Flashback_

_Satan had just be imprisoned in hell and he was steaming mad, now he still had some power, he could make creatures well some things, like he could make cats and dogs for sure, maybe wolves well they would be red and evil and if they were lucky enough, they would talk with a evil voice and in do things in a evil way. He tried to make a wolf, which worked well. It was a white wolf, which was red not white, so a wolf that was red and grey. He sent it into the upper world , were it made chaos, it bit one hundred people, which turned them into a weird high-breed of man and wolf, which the people called werewolves, and all the werewolves were throw out of of the long dead town of West Quahog. It took many years to kill the wolf, and got hundreds of people first. Then the wolf came back to hell and Satan took him in as the dog of the house._

_End Flashback _

The baby werewolf then went back to looking at the baby hunter. Then he smirked.

"So, Jamie, hows things been? Still working on your blacksmithing skills?"

"Why yes I am, Shine."

Stewie then spoke as he looked at the baby werewolf, now known as Shine

"Your name's Shine?"

"Yeah, didn't you know?"

Stewie shook his head, then Stewie and Shine talked about random stuff that had nothing to do with anything.

Then Jamie got so bored he ran at Shine with his hunting knife. Jamie took a swing at Shine's neck but Shine limboed out of harm's way he then kicked at the hunting knife, making it go flying and landing in front of Stewie, who grabbed it well no one was looking. Then Shine grabbed Jamie and threw him into a Street lamp. Then Shine jump into the same street lamp, the they had a little fist fight, then Jamie jumped Shine and they fell down a sewer.

Then Mr Hunts said "Who do you thinks going to win the fight?"

"Well Let's find out?" The male werewolf threw a smoke bomb at the top of the house, which exploded and then the smoke cleared they was a magic flat screen in front of the house, which everyone in the street could see. It showed Shine and Jamie fight to the death, Jamie was on a _long_ skateboard, were _both b_abies were standing. As they, Peter, Lois, Chris, Meg, Stewie, The Father Werewolf, The Mother Werewolf, Mr Hunts watched the screen, around half the town came to watch the fight even Adam West!

Peter got an idea,

"Place your bets, place your bets! Who do you thinks going to win? The baby werewolf from down under, or The baby Monster Hunter? This could be your chance to Win it big!" the Griffins looked horrified at Peter, but still Mr. Hunts put one hundred on Jamie, the Father Werewolf put a hundred on Shine. Who ever won would get two hundred. Back down their they were trying to beat each other off the skate-bored. Even duh their were fighting, Jamie said...

"you know you may come out of this alive, but your parents won't"

Then, just for a split second, fear flashed in Shine's eyes, then something flirty.

"Hey, could you tell me why?" he said licking his lips

"Now why would I do that?" they stopped fighting for a moment

"Because, your the big, Strong, hunter boy who going to slave me. Who would a dead wolf tell?" Jamie blushed as he scratched his head

"Well I guest your right-"

Back up at the griffin household, Mr. Hunts was screaming many thing along the lines of...

"Don't Say it you idiot!" and "what hell's wrong with your mind" back down in the wet hell.

"- Dad made an air born virus, that kills werewolf's in fifty hours after they were infected. The only problem being it doesn't work on babes." Some more fear flashed in Shine's eyes then it went to something friendly.

"So... how much longer do my parents have?"

"Five minutes... Oh crap"

"What?" asked Shine

"Look around" Jamie said pointing behind Shine. Shine turned around and saw they were nearing a drop. When they did Jamie thought he was going to die, but Shine dug his claws into the wall and grabbed Jamie's hand. As they hanged, Jamie was sacred. Shine could drop him at any moment, on the other hand it was just a mountain of crap. Jamie took a look at crap again and saw they was giant dong-beetles eating the dong. And what he meant was the dong beetles were as big as cars.

"Oh crap" Jamie said under his breath.

"OK, this is what's going to happen, you give me the cure and you can live, if not, you die a slow and painfully death."

"Dad didn't make a cure"

"Oh you are soooooo lying, what's that glowing purple stuff in the coke bottle?"

"How-"

"I'm a freaking werewolf!"

"OK! You can have the damn thing, but you don't have much time to get it to them."

Jamie took the coke bottle and gave it to Shine, who put the bottle in his mouth and started climbing up the wall. Then when they were safe Jamie took a breather, and Shine started running down the sewer. He got up to the griffin house and saw that his mother and father were all right, then they had a heart attack, at the same time. Shine looked, he could do nothing. He ran to them and his parents hearts stoped beating at the same time. Shine cried. Lois tried to calm him, Peter, and Brian and Chris were silent. When Lois walked away, Stewie sat with Shine trying to talk. Then Mr. Hunts did the stupidest thing ever, he started gloating.

Then Jamie ran to Mr. Hunts he made him stop and they ran away. Shine and Stewie went up stairs to bed and the rest of the family soon did the same. Tonight Shine cried himself to sleep. Brian called this shrink, who said that Shine would go through

denial then he will stay in his room for long hours with no food then he will except it.

_**End of chapter 1**_

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><p>next time, Lois and Peter take the rights to Shine then they put Shine into the same nursery as Stewie and Shine runs into an old friend.<p> 


	2. Vampire Girlfriend

**in what looked like the griffens living room, but anything that was blue was now silver. Sitting on the couch was a baby with blood shot eyes, greying hair like he was stresed out, and he wore white clothes that didn't stick out in anyway at all. the baby looked up, his eyes looked like they were seeing something that was fare off.**

**"Hello, if your reading this, you must not have anything better to do." he said, breaking the 4th wall.**

**then out of nowhere a baby werewolf just fell from the sky and he landed right next to 'blood shot'**

**"Stop that! Now what's this chapter called?" the new baby, who we should know by now as Shine**

**"Vampire Girlfriend." 'Blood Shot' said**

**Then a fat boy know the world wide as Chris Griffin came in and said...**

**"Well that just gives it away, so who gets the girlfriend? is it me? tell me it's me!" he then clapped his hands in a childish manner.**

**out of nowhere a white furred dog came flying out of the kicten. This was Brian, why he was flying we will never know.**

**"well maybe it's me you gets the girl?"**

**a car came flying thouge the window of the house, destorying a great part of the wall. Then the fattest man in the world came out of the car like nothing had happened. Then a smoking hot women came out of the other car door, she looked at the man like he should know better. The man was known by some as Peter, by others he was known as a fat stinking drunk. the women was called Lois, she was married to this fat man, I don't know why people.**

**"Yeah like that's going to happen, dogs and bats don't work. Wait... is it me who gets the new girlfriend, cos let me tell you my old ones getting on my nerves." Peter asked, getting hyper at the end.**

**"Peter." Lois asked, who could just hear the venom**

**"Yes Lois?" Peter asked, not seeing the inpending pain.**

**"I'm right here!" Then Lois chased Peter around the living room, somehow she had a baseball bat with her.**

**"Hey, maybe it's my girlfriend." a baby known the world over as evil said, look it's Stewie**

**the whole room looked at Stewie then burst out laughing.**

**"Yeah like it's you!"Chris said, laughing it up**

**"Chris is right everyone knows it me who gets the girl." Peter said prouldy**

**"Or maybe me." Brian said laughing lightly**

**"I'm sorry baby, but your to young to date." Lois said, laugh the loudest.**

**"Shut up!" 'blood shot' shouted "let's just find out!"**

**"Hurry, he's mad!" Shine shouted.**

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><p><em>Chapter 2: Vampire Girlfriend<em>

Shine woke in an unusually happy mood, given what happened. This had not escaped the Griffins attention. Lois told Shine that he was going to go to a daycare centre with Stewie. Shine had absolutely no problems with this at all. Peter took the babies to the daycare centre. Then Peter drove off at speed.

Peter and Lois decided they needed to talk about Shine and his future. They spoke for some time and decided to take Shine in. Peter went to the store and bought a wooden crib, with a little mattress to go with it and some spray paint. Lois went to inform some social workers what was going on.

Stewie and Shine walked into a big yellow room with over twenty tables and four people on each table and one table with nobody at all, Stewie walked over to it and sat down. Leaving poor shine standing there all alone with everyone staring at him.

"Today we have a new friend joining us. His name is Shine Wolf. Shine will you sit with that boy over there, his name is-"

"Stewart Gilligan Griffin"

"How did you know that? Up until now I didn't even know he had a middle name. How do you know that?"

"He's my cousin"

"Oh" Shine walked to sit with Stewie

"So let's learn a bit about Shine, by asking questions, yes you the little fat boy."

then said fat boy asked...

"why is his hair white?"

"It's a long story." said Shine

the fat boy then asked

"So tell it"

"No"

then another boy with purple hair of all things, asked...

"why don't you tell us? whitey boy!"

"why you cheeky ******* brat"

"Hey!" the teacher shouted "No swearing in my classroom!"

"WHAT THE ****!"

"What did I just say? NO SWEARING IN MY CLASSROOM!"

"Hey, why don't you go **** your self?"

no one noticed but a girl with black hair and pale skin wearing a black dress and black shoes walked in. her eyes stopped on Shine.

"Shine, is that you?" Shine stopped swearing and looked at the girl in amazement.

"Jesse?" Shine said as he jumped out of his chair and walked over "What are you doing here?"

"We moved here last summer. What are you doing here?"

"Mr. Hunts." Shine looked sad for a second, then went back back to his up-beat mood. Then the teacher told them to sit down. After the lesson they had recess and time to go outside. Shine, Jesse and Stewie were talking.

"So" started Stewie "How do you two know each other."

"She's my X"

"Wait you're that Stewie Griffin guy, right?" Stewie started blushing

"Yea- yeah that's me."

Jesse didn't seem to see it "So how do you know Shine?"

"O, he's my cousin." said both Shine and Stewie in a perfect unison. The boy from earlier, purple hair, walked to the group of three.

"So you think you can swear at me and get away?" the group turned to Purple hair

"Oh, if it isn't the ******* Brat. What are you doing in this neck of the play ground."

Purple had a smirk on his face. "I have come to beat you to hell and back for swearing at me."

Shine looked cheeky "You think you can beat me up? You and what army?"

purple hair's smirk got bigger

"This one." he clicked his fingers and every boy in the class from earlier stood behind the bullying brat.

"oh now that's just not fair." Shine said still looking cheeky "OK, Stewie get Jesse back to the classroom, I will beat the crap out of all of them. Yo purple hair, what's your name?"

"Name's Ricky, and you will die." Stewie and Jesse ran back to the class. When they got inside the building they were gasping for air.

"What are you doing in here?" the teacher asked

"Shine just told us to get safe." said Jesse

"and why is that?"

"oh he's just going to kill every boy in the class, why?" said Stewie

the teacher jumped up and ran out.

Shine had taken the grunts, if you will, out in seconds. Now it was a stare down between Shine and Ricky. Ricky ran at Shine who danced out of the way.

"What?" Ricky said at he stopped and looked Shine still dancing.

Then Shine danced his way next to Ricky and ballet kicked him in the head. Ricky got back up and kicked at Shine who blocked and threw him in the air. Ricky got back up from the floor and he ran at Shine. Then Ricky kicked him in the head, the sides of his arms and in his back.

"You done yet?" said Shine

Ricky had his hands on his knees. "What the hell man."

Then the teacher came and stopped what she believed was the start of the fight. After that day, Shine and Jesse started talking and they agreed not to start a new relationship.

Now we are back in the Griffin household. Shine and Stewie are talking about random stuff. Then Shine asked Stewie if he had a crush on anyone. To which Stewie said

"Jesse." Stewie said quickly with out thinking. When Stewie came back into the right mind he looked at Shine who's face was humoured.

"What?" Stewie asked

"Did you just say you had a crush on Jesse?"

Stewie was flabbergasted. "What do you me-mean?"

"I asked if you had a crush on anyone and you said Jesse."

"Oh god dammit."

Shine chuckled "Why don't you ask her out?"

"Well, just, I'm not, you know, I don't think, it may not be- my god!"

"Oh just do it. Oh by the way, she's a vampire, just letting you know."

"Wait, I've seen her out in the day."

"The head vampires in the UK have made a watch that let's you go out in the day, how it works is fighting back the sun's rays, it's very confusing so I'm not going into it."

"OK. You want to play go fish?"

"Love to." the following day. Stewie and Jesse were sitting together talking. Then Stewie asked, in a glittering way, if Jesse would go out with him, to which she said yes. On Saturday they went to Cheesy-Charles.

"So want do you want?" asked Stewie

"I don't know. How about you?"

They talked for some minutes, then they agreed on a giant pizza

"I love Pizza" they said in unison.

They finished the Pizza, payed, and went to the park and they went on the swings. And the rest is history. A mouth later and they were what you would call 'inseparable'. They were now in Stewie's room, their lips a little pit about. Then Stewie moved forward and their lips touched. They pulled apart after a minutes but it felt like longer for them. Then they hugged, Stewie felt something against his neck. Then he felt light headed, he knew that she was drinking him dry, but does that mean everything they did together meant nothing to her? He might never know.

Down stairs.

"Hey did you hear that?" asked Lois

"Hear what?" asked Peter

"a bump. Like someone hit the floor."

"Well why don't we go take a look." said Shine

Peter, Lois, Meg, Chris, Brian and Shine walked into Stewie's room were the sound came from. They walked in and saw Jesse licking Stewie's neck were the blood was coming from. Lois screamed at a pitch that destroyed the windows. "Peter! Get ride of that thing!" Peter had an angry face as he rushed to beat her up. But then Shine jumped in front of Jesse, in his werewolf form. "You attack my friend, and I kill you."

"Why would you want to save that, that, that thing!"

Shine got into a somewhat relaxed posed. "Well, you know long time friend."

Shine leaned his head back and looked at Jesse with his head upside down. "And what are you doing Jesse, you promised you'd tell me when you were going to do this."

"You know she was going to do this!" shouted Meg

"Sooner or later. When will he wake up, Jesse?"

Jesse checked her watch "A minute or two."

just as she said that Stewie woke up. Shine walked to Stewie and put his hand out so Stewie could grab it. Stewie grabbed his hand and Shine pulled him up.

Stewie looked around the room then his eyes stopped on Jesse.

"What the hell, Jesse?"

she chuckled "Sorry it's a vampire thing, after kiss I have to drink your neck."

"So am I-" asked Stewie who got cut off

"Yes, your a Vampire. By the way eat this." Shine tossed Stewie a fruit. Stewie took a bite then he eat in in one bite.

"What the hell was that, man!" he looked Crazy! In a good way.

"That's a blood fruit. Very useful. Now wear this stupid watch I told you about last mouth and let's get the hell done with this night, I'm tired."

"Well to do that Stewie has to say wherever or not he going to stay with Jesse." said Chris

Stewie looked at Jesse and smiled.

"Sure."

"Now can we all go to bed and talk about this next time when people can stand to read this crap." everyone went to bed and fell a sleep. Shine stopped Stewie from going to bed.

"If you need anything like _Food _wake me up."

"Got it."

"Night Stewie." Shine said

"Night Shine." Stewie said

they walked into Stewie's room and went to sleep.

That is the End of that.

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><p><strong>"Ha! Who's the best? oh yeah it's me! all you Mo' Fo's can go to hell! I am on fire!" Stewie shouted, then he did a little victory dance.<strong>

**"No F****** way!" Brian, Peter, Chris and Lois shouted.**

**"Yes way." A girl in black said, other wise known as Jesse.**

**"Well Bye everyone! come on Jesse let's go back to my room." Stewie said winking at Jesse, who giggled and walked out the front door of the house. Then Chris walked out saying something about having a game to play. Then Peter and Lois left, but before they left Lois kissed 'Blood shot' on the cheek. Shine then sat back and relaxed.**

**"Wait..." 'Blood shot' Said out of nowhere**

**"What?" Shine asked, his eyes closed.**

**"they left me...with a giant ass hole in the wall!" 'blood shot' shouted**

**Shine looked at the wall, then he broke out in laugh that would make little children cry.**

**"Get, hahahaha, out, haha, before things go down hill...hahah!" Shine was laugh his ass off. "Calm down X.M!"**


	3. The baby from hell

**The griffen family walked to a house known simply as the writing house. when they got there they saw a wall was being remade. Then they walked in.**

**"Hey X.M, what's going on out there?" Peter asked**

**X.M gave Peter a death stare.**

**"You made that thing when you drove your car into my wall!" Shine let out a laugh from his seat on the couch.**

**"Oh really? when ever I do that it normaly fixes it self." Peter said, not seeing how this could have happened.**

**"Yeah in your world, here you have to do something about broken walls!" X.M grabbed a gun out of nowhere.**

**"Oh come on X.M just tell us what the chapters called."**

**"It's called the baby from hell. now all you people in the real world start reading this stupid thing well I kill peter. get back here you fat f***!" Peter ran out of the house with X.M following.**

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 3: the baby from hell<strong>_

Peter and Shine are sitting on the couch totally engrossed in some stupid slapstick comedy program on the TV.

Meg runs down the stairs, nearly falling, looking horrified and says to them...

"Dad, Shine something happened at school. Connie put my name on the list for cheerleading try-outs, what am I going to do?"

"Try, who knows you may get in."

"Shine are you kidding have you seen her she has absolutely no chance of getting into that cheerleading squad, those gals are hotties."

"What is that supposed to mean dad?" Meg is clearly not impressed!

"Peter, you shouldn't talk that way about your first child."

"Look guys all I'm saying is Meg is the ugliest girl I have ever seen, she will never, no way on this planet, ever get in to cheerleading!"

"You know what dad? I'm going to try and if I do you will be eating your words"

Meg waddles out of the house, past the bus stop and walks to school, trying to burn off the excess fat before 9am. Even if she didn't get into the cheerleading squad she would look amazing.

Back in the Griffin house Stewie walked down stairs then and said "hi dad, hi Shine."

"Hey Stewie, how you dealing with the change?"

"It's pretty good, I like it."

"Oh by the way, Meg is trying out for cheerleading."

"But she is going to blow it just like when I had sex with Lois and Meg was born."

"hey fat man was I a mistake too?"

"to tell the truth yes Stewie you were. I only wanted one boy, Lois just didn't let me give Meg or you away"

both Shine and Stewie said in unison "you fat insensitive *******!"

Brian enters the room and says "who me? you think I'm fat?"

"No not you douche-bag! The fatman _obviously!"_

"So why is he an insensitive ******* this time?"

"Oh forget it Brian, its history!"

"Hey Brian, did you hear Meg is trying out for the cheerleaders today?"

They both snigger at the thought of Meg in a teeny tiny outfit shaking her pom poms...

"I know." says Stewie reading Brian's mind!

Its lunchtime in the school gym, Meg looks nervous in the queue of wannabe cheerleaders waiting to try out individually. Connie sidles over to Meg and tells her she can't wait to see her fall on her fat ass. Connie wanders away after seeing the crestfallen Meg close to tears. Meg wants desperately to make it to the cheerleading squad (and look good in the outfit) she would give her eye, teeth whatever they were she thought to herself. no no she would give her right arm or maybe... her soul! Hmm. As Meg stood pondering what she would sacrifice to be a cheerleader she had another thought... What would it be like to be the hottest most popular member of the squad, definately her soul! At that instant the room shimmers and all the colour drains away leaving it just black and white. A tall dark haired man pops up from nowhere.

"Hey where did you come from and why are you so well dressed for the gymnasium? Hey are you here for the trials?"

"I'm here for you Meg," the stranger informs her in a slimy Italian accent.

"What? Why are YOU here for ME? Did I do something wrong?"

"No my dear you did something very RIGHT, you summoned me here."

"How did I do that? I don't even know who you are."

"Of course you know me Meg, you were just thinking of signing your soul away to me!"

"WHAT!"

"I've brought a contract for you to sign, when you put your name on this document you will instantly transform into a sexy teenager capable of doing anything you put your mind to, even CHEERLEADING." (Think 'Road to the Multiverse' Meg from the first one were she was super hot)

"What's the catch?"

"I get to own your immortal soul my dear."

"Yeah, apart from that?"

"Wellll you get 30 seconds to sign your name then the offer will be forever withdrawn... do you have a pen? The clock is about to start ticking."

Meg takes a SECOND to think it over, "Hey will I always be sexy?" she ask

"Why of course my dear"

Meg scribbles her name on the back page of the very heavy contract

Poof!

Meg looks amazing, gone are the geeky glasses and the frumpy clothes. She oozes self confidence. Meg feels like she can take on the world - _and win! _(Road to multiverse, that's all I'm sayin')

Connie calls through the PA system "Attention everyone it is now Meg Griffins turn lets watch her fall on her fat ass" the assembled classmates laughter is so loud the principal can hear it on the other side of the school. Meg sashays to the front of the line and the laughter turns to silence follwed by gasps of shock. The ugly duckling had turned into one sexy swan!

"Fall on my ass huh? Are you ready for this Connie?"

Meg put on an amazing display of cheerleading and some pretty cool gymnastics finishing with a spin in the air into the splits! The crowd cheered louder than when the football team actually won a game. The gymnasium hadn't heard applause like that for years!

"How you like me now Connie? Beat that then!"

Meg was so happy she would have married the prince of darkness himself. who needed a soul anyway? Not Meg!

Meg skipped all the way home, she couldn't wait to share the news with her family, she was officially the newest cheerleader in the school! She also wanted to show them the new hot Meg she had become. She opened the front door and slipped inside her home. She saw Shine was sitting on the couch in-between her father and Quagmire (who she didn't think was the best influence in the world on Shine) Only Shine spoke.

"Hi Meg did you have a good day? How did the tryouts go? Hope you aren't too disappointed..."

Pete and Quagmire wolf whistle hotty Meg together.

"Hey Shine you know this hottie?"

"you should know! It's Meg!"

"What! No-way, this girl's hot!"

"No really dad its me Meg!"

"Whhat! How did you get to look like that?"

"Extreme Makeover?" Quagmire asked

"Miracles R us?" Peter asked

"Have I Changed _that _much Guys?"

"Uhhh Yeah!"

"So how could Shine tell it was me then?"

"I'm a bloody werewolf, I can smell you. By the way why do you smell like evilness?"

"Oh I don't know, it will go away."

"Lets hope your new look doesn't go away, the old one was horrifying!"

"You really think so?" Meg asked tears in her eyes

"Yes" Peter, Quagmire and shine said in unison

Meg ran upstairs sobbing. Sometime later Meg came down and hit Shine on the head with a hammer. To which he fell to the floor not moving. Three minutes later he woke up and looked at Meg.

"Meg?"

"Yes Shine..."

"What the Hell?"

"That was pay back for saying I smell."

"Well you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Keep telling your self that."

this argument went on for a while. Peter and Quagmire stopped watching what was on the TV and listened to the argument. There happened to be half naked women on TV and Meg and Shine were _still _the main attraction.

After the long argument Shine went off to talk to Stewie about him being a vampire. And Meg went to bed.

**Two weeks later in the Griffin household...**

Brian and Stewie are sitting on the couch watching TV. Stewie was dressed in a very old looking Count Dracula outfit. they look very bored. Brian turns to Stewie and says...

"So Stewie, what's new with you?"

"Oh nothing much I just need to meet the Devil and Death and my life will be complete."

"Why do you need to meet the Devil? and you have met Death"

"I think I might get on with the Devil like a house on fire, and let me elaborate I want to meet Death when he comes for Lois, just to shake his hand, ya know..."

Brian was about to respond when Meg walked into the room, Brian couldn't remember what he was about to say. Meg was now the object of his fantasies, Lois'd had her day. Stewie observed Brian drooling and it sickened him. It didn't matter how hot she was, to Stewie it was _still_ MEG!

"Oh Brian pick your tongue up off the floor, would you."

Stewie decides to completely ignore Brian, to teach him a lesson...

"Looking particularly hot today Meg." Brian creeps

"Is there cheerleading practice today then Meg?"

"Uh no Stewie, I just like wearing the outfit."

"Still can't believe your luck huh?"

"Well Stewie it wasn't exactly luck... I had to sign a contract..."

"Ohhh? What kind of contract?"

"One with a confidentiality clause!"

Meg sits down on the couch between Stewie and Brian, oblivious to Brian ogling her. Peter, Lois, Shine and Chris enter the room and settle themselves to watch the Simpsons show. Peter produces the remote control from his pocket. Stewie flashes an evil eye at Peter due to the fact that Stewie had searched the room for over an hour looking for it and had to resort to whining until Brian got up to switch channel. They were all glued to the box with their favourite show on...

**Cut to TV**

"don't have a cow I just kissed a girl"

"But Bart you're 10"

"so, Dad kissed you when you were 10"

"shut up boy" Homer proceeds to strangle Bart

**end cutaway**

The TV spontaneously explodes!

"Oh my God why? why? have you done this to me?" Peter shouts at the heavens.

Lucifer appears from the smoke holding the hand of a small brown-skinned boy dressed in black dungarees and looking none too happy! Meg gasps as she recognises Lucifer and sees the heavy contract she had previously signed in his free hand, it didn't look like a good omen. On closer inspection the small boy had two black horns that were surrounded by angelic looking dark curls. The child flashed Meg a killer smile - Meg had a very bad feeling.

"What the Hell?" asks Peter

"What the Hell indeed" responds Lucifer.

"Meg" says Lucifer "I thought it time to mention paragraph three subsection C of your contract where it clearly states that you may be required to perform babysitting services as and when required."

Lucifer produces a copy of the relevant section and hands it to Meg with a flourish for her examination.

"May I draw your attention to the consequences as set out below" Lucifer said

Meg took the sheet of paper from him and read paragraph three of subsection C she scanned the page further down where it foretold the consequences of refusal... It said Meg would return to her former appearance and that was the very last thing Meg wanted - she was getting used to all the positive attention she gained from the male population and realised just how invisible she had been to them before. Hang on a just a second thought Meg as she read the words below babysitting services...

"Shall be required to perform concubines duties? What does that mean?"

"Exactly what it states young lady" Lucifer replied with a slightly embarrassed cough.

"So its either babysitting or concubine?"

"Possibly, I'm not discounting the possibility of concubine duties at this juncture..."

"So is it settled yet Daddy?" The horned little boy asked

"Seems to be son."

"Meg I want you to remember the consequences of reneging on the babysitting duties... If you could just sign this adoption certificate I'll be out of your way..."

"ADOPTION?" Lois said with concern.

"It's just a formality my good woman."

"I'm not sure about this Meg, we can't afford to feed another mouth."

"Have no fear, there will of course be renumeration."

"We're gonna get PAID?" Peter looks excited

Meanwhile The Son of Lucifer smells a done deal and introduces himself to Stewie and Shine who seems to be around the same age.

"Hello, I'm Josh Satan." the demon boy now known as Josh says

"Hi I'm Stewie."

"And I'm Shine."

the three of them had made friends fast. And now just for the fun of it lets read Stewie's mind.

'Oh yes my prayers have been answered' thought Stewie 'and bonus he now had playmates of his own age and the cherry on top was one of the playmates was a demon or demigod and the other was werewolf who can change when ever he wants, oh, the possibilities, the fun they could have. That dumb dog was history... the adventures he, Shine and Josh could have...' Stewie let his mind run away with him.

Then Stewie had a idea.

"Josh do you have a blood flow?"

"Yes, why?"

"can I drink your blood?"

Josh's face didn't move

"Maybe later"

**Stewie's bedtime in the Griffin household.**

"Oh Meg, where is Josh going to sleep?" Lois looked worried

"I could share with Shine" Josh volunteered

Lois looked even more worried

Josh saw the look of horror cross Lois' face.

"No need to freak out Lady, I may be the Devil's son but I ain't no child killer! Well not when there is something good on TV anyway..." he looked off

"Its OK Lois he can share with me, No problemo" Shine seemed quite happy with the idea.

"Well Ok Shine, if you're sure... but only if Brian keeps you company" Lois added as an afterthought.

_OH GREAT_ thought Shine AND Brian.

"Let's go to our room Josh, I'll show you around"

"Hardly a labyrinth" responded Josh.

They go upstairs and get ready for bed.

"So Josh, that seems like an average name for the son of Lucifer..." Shine says

"Well my mom liked it" replied Josh "Besides haven't you noticed _ALL _Josh's behave like absolute demons? You think that's a coincidence?"

The babies chat for a while and get to know each other Stewie shares his plans to kill Lois, Josh relays details of some of his earlier exploits in hell, the tricks he played on countless lawyers and Shine tells talks to them about his parents deaths. Josh looked saddened by this.

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I don't think their in hell."

"Thanks, that does make me feel better." Shine smiled at Josh.

Then they go back to talking. Stewie is shocked when Josh tells him his Mom was Loretta Brown - ex wife of Cleveland Brown and less shocked when Josh told them that his father had banished his Mom from hell because she cheated on him with a gargoyle.

"Hey I know what we could do" says Stewie with a spark in his eye. "We could move to England - Oh yes I've always had a yearning to live in the United Kingdom , a quaint little place with an open fireplace..."

"Ok I get the picture. Lets go."

"Lois would never go for it" Stewie informs Josh

Josh told Stewie & Shine that all the family would have to migrate to England and find a place somewhere befitting the Prince of Darkness.

"But if you really want to live there I can take care of it, I have powers you know" Josh proclaimed. "But we would have to take a trip to Hell to pick up some things I will need."

Brian opened the bedroom door, all the babies pretend to be asleep, Brian curls up in a ball by the door and is snoring within seconds.

"I don't know how you will persuade Lois to let us pop to Hell with you, nevermind _living _in England." whispered Stewie

"Oh Ye of little faith, all shall be revealed..." said Josh

"No really, let's not go. It's more fun here." Shine said out of nowhere and Stewie agreeded.

"Oh Ok." Josh said giving up the fight.

to be continued...

* * *

><p><strong>X.M walked back into the house with Josh fellowing.<strong>

**"Well I see you finished that, tell me what you think guys." X.M asked**

**"this is a good day" Josh said**

**"Well that was fun" Stewie said**

**"Were's Peter?" Lois asked, worried**

**X.M smiled a evil smile**

**"He's being taken care of by top men."**

**"Who?" Lois asked again**

**"Top Men." X.M, Josh, Shine and Stewie said in unison.**


End file.
